August 25, 2004

"Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa Transit System. This automated train is provided for the security and convenience of the Black Mesa Research Facility personnel. The time is 8:47AM. Current top-site temperature is 93 degrees, with an estimated height of 105. The Black Mesa compound is maintained at a pleasant 68 degrees at all times.

This train is inbound from Level 3 dormitories to Sector C Test Labs and Control Facilities. If your intended destination is a high security area beyond Sector C, you will need to return to the Central Transit Hub in area 9 and board a high-security train. If you have not yet submitted your identity to the Retinal Clearance system, you must report to Black Mesa Personell for processing before you will be permitted into the high-security branch of the transit system.

Due to the high toxicity of material routinely handled in the Black Mesa compound, no smoking, eating, or drinking are permitted within the Black Mesa transit system.

Please keep your limbs inside the train at all times. Do not attempt to open the doors until the train has come to a complete halt at the station platform. In the event of an emergency, passengers are to remain seated and await further instruction. If it is necessary to exit the train, disabled personnel should be evacuated first. Please, stay away from electrified rails and proceed to an emergency station until assistance arrives.

A reminder that the Black Mesa Hazard Course decathlon will commence this evening at 1900 hours in the Level 3 facility. The semi-finals for high-security personnel will be announced in a separate secure access transmission. Remember, more lives than your own may depend on your fitness.

Do you have a friend or relative who would make a valuable addition to the Black Mesa team? Immediate openings are available in the areas of materials handling and low-clearance security. Please contact Black Mesa personnel for further information. If you have an associate with a background in the areas of theoretical physics, bio technology or other high-tech disciplines, please contact our civilian recruitment division. The Black Mesa Research Facility is an equal opportunity employer.

A reminder to all Black Mesa personnel: Regular radiation and biohazard screenings are a requirement of continued employment in the Black Mesa Research Facility. Missing a scheduled urinalysis or radiation checkup is grounds for immediate termination. If you feel you have been exposed to radioactive or other hazardous materials in the course of your duties, contact your radiation safety officer immediately. Work safe. Work smart. Your future depends on it.

Now arriving at Sector C Test Labs and Control Facilities.

Please stand back from the automated door and wait for the security officer to verify your identity. Before exiting the train, be sure to check your area for personal belongings. Thank you, and have a very safe and productive day."

But seriously.

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