April 20, 2005
I finally told Yvonne my feelings for her. Oh, it was no easy task; I was nervous as hell. I had constructed a long-winded speech in my head beforehand, but what she received was a severly shortened version of it and some giggling on my part. I told her that when I first met her and got to know her, I was very in love with her, and that now I'm not really sure what I am. She told me that she actually had a notion of it (I expected her to have a notion of it; I have been flirting). I told her that I really like her as a friend. I didn't really ask her if she'd like to go steady as such, but her response was that she also really likes me as a friend and she'd like it to stay that way (she added, for now
). With that out the way, we got up from the table at the library where we were sitting. I fumbled something bad with the two bags I were carrying. (One of which contained Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code, incidentally. See Michael, I do get around to reading the books you recommend.) She noticed the fumbling. Well, she must have. Then, silly as I am, I giggled some more. I then managed to calm myself down some, and while we were walking toward the exit, I told her how I'm really comfortable around her, and that I like spending time with her. She said the feeling is mutual.
I'm very satisfied with the outcome of all this; I've gotten a better understanding of what being in love is and what not to do when in love. For instance, making an image of her in my head and then imagining her to be something much more than she really is was a big mistake. As an example, I imagined she would be really computer savvy, while the truth is that she's not competent with computers at all. Not that that's necessarily bad, of course, but the simple fact remains: I was wrong (and on more than one point, but I won't get into those), and being wrong doesn't feel good.
Two things are for sure: One, I now have an extremely good female friend, something I've never really had before and something I'm really happy for, and two, I have wasted way too much time worrying about what she thinks about me. Seriously, it feels like someone dropped an Arclite Siege Tank on me and that it has just now lifted off my shoulders.
On impulse, I joined Niels-Henrik for a beginner's tango session spanning three mondays, two hours of training each monday. While I'm sure tango can be fun for some, let me assure you that dancing is not for me. Well, tango isn't, anyway.
In site-related news, my footer erroneously contained "Hosted by dataportalen.com". That's removed now. Also, Mr. Guthrie made me aware of the fact that my CSS signature erroneously said www-dataportalen-com-pho. That's also fixed; it's now havard-no-ip-info, of course.